


but i don't think i can stand to be where you don't see me

by abeebumbling



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, just a bittersweet tender moment in the middle of the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abeebumbling/pseuds/abeebumbling
Summary: A moment before walking through the Lonely.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	but i don't think i can stand to be where you don't see me

“We’re getting close, aren’t we?”

Jon blinks.

“I- yes. Yes, we are. Did you-“ He pauses carefully. “Did you Know?”

Martin shakes his head, smiling unsincerely.

“I-I can feel it.” He rubs his left arm. “It was always cold there,” he explains, though they both know it’s more than that.

That’s when Jon notices Martin stopped walking. The distance between them is sudden and small but heavy. They’re not even there yet, not properly, but the damp of the Lonely clung to his sweater. Jon breathes out shakily, feels that he should be able to see his breath with how much the temperature dropped, before speaking again.

“I know the way through.”

He tries to sound reassuring, feeling (Seeing) Martin’s dread.

“Yes, I just- I don’t- could- can’t we go around? Even go through another of- of these horror bubbles first?”

“No,” Jon says as softly as he can without the word dying on his lips. The way Martin’s shoulder sink, head tilting forward so his hair hides his face, does something painful to Jon’s chest. “I’m sorry Martin.”

Martin chuckles weakly.

“Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Martin winds a strand of hair around his index before rubbing at it with his thumb, a nervous habit Jon knows all too well from untangling his hair at the cottage again and again. It hadn’t been so bad at first, but the days wore on and Martin’s grew long, longer than Jon had ever seen it. The new roots were a stark white, constrating sharply against the dark brown curls that had, till then, only been interrupted by the occasional gray strand. 

Jon never brought up the idea of cutting it, from the way Martin had positively glowered at the first flashes of white peeking from his scalp to how he gently reached up to stroke the remaining brown when his eyes were distant, he didn’t think it a good idea. Not anytime soon anyways.

“Martin?”

“Yes, I know, I know, let’s get going.” 

Martin doesn’t move.

“That’s not what I wanted to say. But we do have to go, it isn’t really safe here.” 

He puts his hand out to Martin and is relieved to find the familiar, warm fingers weaving between his own.

“Okay.” Martin exhales, eyes closing momentarily. “Okay. You said you knew the way?”

“I do. We… should start walking.”

“Oh. Oh! Yes.” He laughs, forced and nervous. “Yes, sorry.”

Jon doesn’t comment on the fact that their pace slows down considerably or that Martin has started to lag behind him. Instead he squeezes Martin’s hand.

“I love you,” he says, softly but firmly.

There’s a pause. The silence roars in his head.

“Yeah.” He hears Martin swallow behind him. “I know, you sap. Love you too.”

Around them, the air warms just slightly.

**Author's Note:**

> title from Francis forever by mitski because I'm THAT bitch
> 
> also todays ep huh :) 
> 
> btw u can find me on Tumblr by the same username!! @abeebumbling! I also have a main where I mostly reblog @dooodlebee (yes 3 os)


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